Saturday, July 6, 2013

"The Heat" and My Not-So-Secret Crush on Melissa McCarthy

I know, I know. I'm not exactly original. We fatshionistas friggin' LOVE us some Melissa McCarthy. She's plus-sized. She's gorgeous. She's hilarious. She's unashamed. What's not to love?

Melissa McCarthy is my idol. Long before I had aspirations to be a teacher, a writer, or a singer... I longed to be on SNL and be a comedian. I'm pretty funny, and I'm great at characters. I wanted to get paid (however terribly) to be funny. I wanted to be a professional silly person.

But, when I say that Melissa McCarthy is my idol, I mean it in every facet of her humanoid form. I mean that she's found an equally funny husband and is raising funny kids. That she's a down-to-earth person who everyone loves to be around. That she's becoming wildly successful at a job that she loves.
That she is a friggin' fox and has an amazing stylist (nn her own SNL words: She's "primarily in a Croc"). And yes, because she is living out my awkward tweenage fantasy life.

So, yes. I went to see The Heat. Melissa could star in a movie called "This Movie Blows (No, Really)" and I would still pay good money to see it. I was not disappointed. The commercials for The Heat were pretty bad: classic mismatched buddy cop, Mulder/Scully, set-up with some decent soundbites. It looked okay. The reviews were oddly strong for a lackluster set of commercials, but I had faith in my lady love. She'd be hilarious, no matter what.

I. Friggin'. Loved. It.

Okay, yes. It was a class mismatched buddy cop flick. But who cares? The genre works because IT WORKS. I laughed, I got a little teary-eyed, and I cheered when someone got shot in the nuts. It wasn't until my 20 minute drive home that I started to think about why I loved it.

Here is my list of Reasons Why The Heat Was Actually Really Good:

1.  It's about 2 very different, but believable, women who act like believable women and never fall into stupid, stereotypical femme tropes. No nail-painting. No makeover scene. Wait, there was a makeover scene. But it was the least girly thing I've ever seen (Melissa's Mullins character hacks Sandra's Ashburn character's pantsuit to shreds with a big ol' pair of scissors).  They bond over kicking ass and struggling to get to know each other. There's no weepy girly crap.

... nice... makeover.... Sandra. You look awesome... really....

2. Every minor character was hilarious. It didn't matter if the character had 2 lines or 20. The minor characters were all amazingly well-cast and hilarious. Jane Curtin as Mrs. Mullins had about 5 lines, but her facial expressions stole every scene she was in. Michael McDonald was a hilarious, but still scary, bad guy. Kaitlin Olson ("Dee" from It's Always Sunny) made me laugh riotously as the Bulgarian drug distributor. And Michael Rappaport and Joey McIntire make requisite appearances as Mullins' heavily Boston-accented brothers.

3. Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy have become friends since filming, and their enjoyment is evident on the screen. They fit together like peanut butter and jelly.

4. Badass chicks with a whole lotta guns.

5.  A small part of me was waiting for FBI agent Sandra / Ashburn to pull out her pageant gown.

Lookin' sharp.

According to IMDB, there is already a sequel in the mix... Right on!

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